Deacon Bob was not a happy man. "I don't understand why the church needs to pay a marketing consultant this much money," he complained.

 "Bob, Bob, join the twenty-first century," another deacon chided him. "This guy is the best in the business. Shh! He's ready to start his presentation." They took their seats in the meeting room with the other deacons and church staff as a man in a crisp blue business suit stood before a large-screen TV displaying the consultant's rotating logo.

 "Gentlemen, it's great to be here today. And I have some great news: Your church is poised on the threshold of becoming the church of the future--the Megachurch!" The screen suddenly displayed the computer model of a large, futuristic-type church surrounded by a sea of cars. A ripple of expectancy passed through the room.

 Then he continued: "Your location is right, the demographics are right, the economy is on the upswing--all good indicators that people are willing to listen to what you have to offer. The key here, remember, is church growth. More people means more money. More money means bigger facilities. And larger facilities allow for more growth!

 "Now for the specifics--how exactly to get on the fast track to heaven. Each of you has my report right in front of you, so if you'll just turn to page 3 I'll highlight my points of recommendation. Number one: aggressive marketing. Newspaper ads are fine, but that's not enough. You gotta hit them one on one--your people reaching out to them where they live. Classic telemarketing is a good tool here. I recommend purchasing lists of all new hookups from the water company--that give you names and information on new families in the area. A preliminary call to determine their interest in church can direct your follow-up later on.

 "Next, you send people door-to-door through the more affluent and stable neighborhoods--where you want to draw your tithing membership from. Also, don't overlook the importance of referrals--get your members to turn in the names, addresses and telephone numbers (plus any other helpful information) on people they know who need a church home."

 At this point Bob raised his hand. "Excuse me, but all this seems so--forced and artificial. What happened to simply drawing people by the power of the gospel?"

 "In order to reach them with the gospel you've got to get them to come hear it, first," the consultant replied earnestly. "And God uses modern methods in modern times. We'd all be in a fix if we still relied on New Testament knowledge of medicine, now wouldn't we? Well, churches that won't keep up with the times are dying!" Several of his audience nodded in assent.

 "Still," Bob persisted, "all these modern marketing methods that you are recommending are things most people detest. Do you enjoy receiving sales calls or strangers at your door? Is this the impression of Christianity we want to leave with people?"

 "These have been demonstrated statistically as very effective sales techniques," the consultant said. "All the big churches use them, along with mass mailouts."

 "Junk mail," snorted Bob. "It's a waste of money. Why can't we just use the biblical method of bringing people in by being good friends and neighbors to those around us--?"

 "Lifestyle witnessing is all part of the package, if you'll check page 12. My recommendations also state that if this plan is to meet with success, it must be supported wholeheartedly by the church," the consultant stated. Several head turned toward Bob.

 "Jesus said, 'And I, if I be lifted up, will draw all men to me--'" Bob began.

 "Exactly," interrupted the consultant. "Check my recommendation on page 8. In your ads, you let people know they're going to find Jesus at your church."

 Bob grew red-faced. "You're packaging and selling the Savior like a--a toilet bowl cleaner! Has anyone asked what He thinks of this ridiculous stuff?"

 "This 'ridiculous stuff' rakes in billions a year, industry-wide." The consultant's voice rose. "Church attendance among baby-boomers--the major wage-earners of the population--has increased fifteen percent over the last five years. And Christian books and records are the fastest-growing segment in the entertainment industry. Come out of the Dark Ages!"

 "We're back in the Dark Ages, if our religion boils down to selling salvation for financial gain. I find this tack dangerous and deplorable, and I will not be a part of it." Bob pushed back his chair and left the room.

 "Good! Are there any other naysayers who want to hold this church back?" the consultant challenged. Heads looked around, and no one spoke. "Great! Now let's get out there and reach people for Jesus!"

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